Thumbs Up!

It's a "thumbs up" kinda day! The girls were excited, because they got brand new dance bags. Complete with their names on them!


Madie got this nifty zebra striped one with her name in hot pink.

Livie got a polka dotted one with her name in green. That's a thumbs up with string cheese! That means she's super-happy! ;-)

And, why did Noah have a "thumbs up" kinda day? Why, because he ROCKED his first day at school without his mom there to help him through his shots. That's why! Yes, Noah got a glowing report on how well he handled his insulin shot today. The nurse said he didn't flinch, didn't move, and said, "Piece 'o cake!" when it was done. Way to go, Noah!!!

Candy Buffet

Today we had another special event for Sunday School. I decided to do something with a Valentine's Day theme. Since V-Day is all about love, I wanted to talk to them about who loves them the most! God does! So, I read them some verses about how much God loves us then told them we were going to make something fun for people we care about to show them that God loves them too. :-)



Each child got 2-3 treat boxes to decorate.

They could color pictures on them or write on them. Whatever they wanted to do.

Then they came up to our table and got a bag and filled it with all different kinds of candy. I didn't get my camera out until we were almost done, so there doesn't look like there was a lot of candy, but there was! Trust me. I had 10 different bowls filled with candy from sweettart hearts to 3 different kinds of M&Ms and gummy bears. There were lots to choose from and most everyone just went through and filled their bags with a spoonful of each.

When they were done, they tied the bags off with a ribbon and attached a card that said "God love you and (name) does too"! It was so much fun and after they were done filling up their treat boxes, they got to have a handful of candy just for themselves. It was a lot of fun and thankfully, they weren't too sugared up for service afterwards. :-)

Smiling Again!

We needed today. We needed today to be a success and it was! First of all, I called the nurse this morning and talked to her about the changes we've made in an effort to work with her as she asked. Pete's been giving shots. We've talked to Noah a lot about trusting the nurses at the school. Got his supply kit ready and are waiting on the fax from Peoria to finish up the paperwork. She was pleased. I talked to her about Noah needing me there today. There was no argument or concern, she said that was fine and that, in itself, was a HUGE load off!! I went in at 11:30 for the glucose test. I sat to the side and let them handle it and they did a great job and Noah was perfection. Didn't flinch or cry or get freaked out at all, like he did last Tuesday. Hooray! Then it was on to lunch. He was most nervous going in today about that insulin shot. I, again, tried to stay out of the way and sat on the other side of the table. He was very scared for that and cried and kept pulling away. I eventually moved over to where he was sitting and tried to hold him, but he didn't like that, so I pushed myself back out of the way to let the nurse handle it. He told the nurse how we did it, so she asked me what we do. I told her our methods and she used it and eventually Noah stopped pulling away, so she could do it and it didn't hurt at all! So, now he feels way better about her giving shots too. He even told me afterwards that I didn't need to come in anymore. That he could do it himself. WOW! I'm hoping that means he'll be calmer, watch his tone with her, and just let it happen. I have a feeling there will still be bumps as he gets over his fear of the shots, but just him telling me I didn't need to come anymore was a big deal and seeing how the nurses were listening to me and working with us both and showing that compassion for his fears like I asked on Tuesday, REALLY makes me feel better about how this relationship between us will go moving forward. I'm hoping that the conversation(s) we had last week were made at a time when she was very frustrated and felt the need to get it off her chest with me. While, I still don't think it was appropriate, I also feel that wasn't really her and now after a couple days of reflection for both of us, we're at a place where we will work closely together and make it work best for Noah, which is all I wanted from the beginning. So, I'm looking forward to the weekend as we continue to work him through those fears and hopefully optimistic that he's going to be the brave kid I know he can be and move forward without any problems. I'm more realistic this time that there are to be bumps in the road, no matter how hard I try, and that, while criticism is still going to be hard to take, it's ok if my efforts aren't always successful. I need to know I'm doing the best I can and that has to be enough for now. That's not something I accept easily either. I'm trying to take some of that perfectionistic pressure off of myself and let God be my guide and my strength when I don't feel like I have any more. So, I'm back on top of the hill. Hopefully for a while, but when the valleys come, I at least know I'm not alone. Thanks for all the concern and kind words when I was struggling. And, thanks for letting me use this forum to vent about this journey we're on. Like I said on Facebook, I'm looking forward to the day when diabetes isn't the first thing on my mind when I wake up and last thing I think about as I fall asleep. I'm looking forward to posts about wedgies and silliness again soon!

Adjustments

Well, it's been one week tonight that our lives changed. And, as positive as I was feeling on Sat about how I was going to tackle this whole thing, I find myself at the bottom of the hill on this roller coaster we've been on. I'm the type of person that when I set my mind to do something, I go at it full force, fully expecting the results of my efforts to be positive ones. But with that drive comes a quick lows when I find that those efforts aren't paying off the way I thought they would. Criticism is much harder to take when you're in that mode and when it comes, it throws me. After having a completely successful day of school on Monday, I had a less than successful day on Tues. I met with the nurse on Tuesday morning and talked to her about Noah and had her come with me to do his finger prick test and his insulin shot. Both went off without a hitch. I told Noah when I left the cafeteria that I would be back the next day to watch HER give the shot that time, so he would see that I trust her and, hopefully, therefore HE should trust her. I got a call at 2pm from the nurse saying they gave Noah a finger prick test and it was terrible. Still not sure why they didn't call me first or see if I would be there for that, but can't go back in time now. He was very disrespectful, telling them that only their mommy could do it. He was disrupting the whole library and they had to remove him to take his sugars. She was very upset and I apologized and told her I don't condone that behavior, but that he's only ever had me do it and she informed me that that wasn't right. That I needed to have him trust them and I told them I was trying. They told me I needed to have other people give him the shots and I told them that he was only 5 days in and that I was the only one doing it, so I could help build that trust with him, because he was so upset after his hospital stay when everyone and anyone was giving him shot after shot after shot. I had worked very hard all weekend to prepare him for school. Had built up that trust with him, but apparently his trust in me was so strong that he didn't think anyone else could do it without me. I told her I wanted to be there for the shots, so he would feel more comfortable with the transition, which she said wasn't a good idea. That he needed to trust them. Basically, after 2 phone conversations I was in tears and trying to make her understand that he wasn't even a week in and needed patience and compassion, because this was still scary for him. It's now been 2 days since that conversation (without school because of our snow days) and I still can't seem to find my way out of this hole I fell in emotionally. Since that phone call I've been having Pete give a few shots in an effort to get him used to others. Noah's still scared with him and I think to myself if he's still scared of his dad doing it, how is going to trust the nurses who took 4 pricks to get a reading. He's now scared of them and the finger prick was the easiest of the 2 tests. I doubt my choices in only having me do it those first few days. I doubt my intentions and doubt my abilities to do what I've thought was best. I know that a lot of what she said wasn't meant to hurt, but again, like I said, when I'm driven to do something well and I'm told that my efforts haven't worked, then I sink faster maybe than most. Pete thinks I set my expectations too high. That I think that after 4 days everything is going to run smoothly and there's no way that is going to happen. He's probably right. But, how much do I comfort NOah and how much do I demand of him? He's 7, a week in, and I don't want him to be out of school while we get him more comfortable with shots. Who else can give him shots? It's me and Pete. That's it. I can't seem to move past the criticism and am trying so hard to talk with him, make some changes, so that things will be better at school. I don't want more phone calls where they tell me how awful he was. I don't want to be looked at as this mom who isn't doing what they need. But, at the same time, I don't want to push so hard that my son is hurt even more than he has been these past days. I want him to know I'm on his side and that I'm here for him. I'M the one who sat at his bedside all night long while he cried as he got shot after shot and blood draw after blood draw. That is still in my mind and it hurts me so much to think of seeing that fear in him again as he heads off to school, knowing he's scared of what's going to happen to him. She told me that he should be thankful that he's not as bad off as the other kids, which to me said, "Stop being selfish in your grief. Other kids are worse off than he is." and, though that wasn't meant to hurt, it did. A lot. It's like I was told to get over it and be thankful that he only has to have 7 shots a day instead of 15. It's been a lot to take for us in just one week. I'm still struggling and I guess using this forum to vent is the best way to do it. I think we always have doubts as to how we're doing as moms. But, the true test comes when you find yourself with a child that has a problem, whether it's diabetes or peer-pressure or a broken arm. Will they look back and see you did everything you could for them to make it better or will they look back and think you didn't stand up for them enough? I'm guessing we'll be back in school tomorrow and I've been thinking for days about how to handle the school situation. I want to talk to her again. Want to explain that we're trying. That's Noah's really trying. But, he's only 7 and it's only been 7 days since his diagnosis. We're doing all we can to get him comfortable with shots, but he's scared of new people. I think I've come to the decision that I'm going to override her opinion about me not being there and tell them that I insist on being there to help him learn to trust them, by being there for each and every shot. At least for a couple days until he feels ready. That, ultimately, this will work in their favor and he'll trust them faster if they see I trust them. I'm praying that with God's leading that we can work this out. I have the luxury of being a stay-at-home mom. I can be there and help the process. Let me. I know I'm not a nurse with education and experience behind me, but I am a mom. I am HIS mom and I know what works for him. So, I just ask for prayers as I try to work this out with the nurse. Prayers as I struggle with self-doubt and pressure to make it work quickly. Prayers that I find myself back on top of the hill and am able to tackle it all again with a smile and some humor.

Even MORE about Blizzaster '11!

To say the kids are LOVING the snow right now is probably an understatement! They went out with both guns blazing and just had a ball!



Right away, Livie started in with the snow angels. She's light enough that she can crawl across the snow without sinking in. :-)

You can kind of see how big the drift by our door is to Noah.

It took all 3 of us to get the sidewalk clear! It was a whole lotta snow!!!!

Noah tried walking out to the mailbox, but wading through 20+ of snow isn't easy.

Livie decided crawling was a lot easier sometimes. :-)

Pete decided to dig a trench all the way around the house. The kids played along while we made our way through.

The drifts are 3' tall! Awesome!!

I think if Pete hadn't dug out this trench last night, we would've seen this drift touch the bottom of the windows!

Pete saw our neighbor Lee struggling to get his truck out, so Pete went out and helped dig him out. Went and helped our neighbor Evan too. Lee repaid the favors by bringing some back-up with snow plows!! They plowed out our whole driveway for us. :-) That would've taken us hours to do and they were done in less than 1/2 hour. I offered them hot chocolate and snacks, but didn't want anything. They were just being kind and that's what I love so much about small towns! They help out their neighbors when there's a need. :-)

The kids ended their time laying in the snow (aka "Yeti Mountain") and watching the clouds roll by. Can't ask for a better snow day than that!!

Here's a short video of the kids and their total excitement with the snow!

Snowmeggedon '11

I readily admit that I don't take the weather people seriously when I hear their dire forecasts for our area. After all the sensationalism of the news over the past decade or so, I find I don't listen to their ramblings. Like when they said the Avian Bird Flu is a pandemic that is going to destroy us all, I've tuned out their disaster rhetoric. Such was my view on the upcoming storm. Words like "Storm of the Century" were used, which I found to be quite hilarious, considering we're only 10 yrs into the new century, thus not really able to accurately describe something yet as being the storm of the century. People then began making up their own phrases in an effort to mock our media a little. Things like the one I used in the title of this post, "Snowmeggedon" or "Snowpacalypse". I even have a friend use the phrase "Wintastrophe Snowpacalypse Blizzaster '11", which I thought was genius! I mean, it's all about scaring us into thinking we're all going to be buried alive for weeks and must rush out and stock up on tp before the world comes to an end and we find ourselves having explosive diarrhea the entire time we're caged in our homes like animals! I mean, I've lived in NY where one day it was 72 and the next day we woke up to 15" of snow on the ground. I lived in IN where we got a storm that brought over 2' of snow. So, a blizzaster that is calling for 10-15" doesn't really do anything for me. But, I must say, there have been a couple of storms that have been impressive. Not disasterous, we're-all-gonna-die storms, but entertaining storms to say the least. The storm they called for actually turned out to be pretty cool! First of all, it's the first snowstorm I can remember where there was thunder and lightening involved. That alone made it WAY cooler than I expected. Then the winds came and started blowing everything around. Wind always makes a snowstorm better, because then you can see really amazing drifts. Some parts of the ground are completely bare, while other things are buried. Love it!



About 11 pm last night, the snow had drifted against the house and covered up the furnace outlet, so Pete decided to brave the winds and dig a trench. Because the snow was up to the patio door, he had to start shoveling from INSIDE the house.

I tried to take a picture out the window of him. You can kind of see how he was doing.

This one is dark, but it's of the snow measuring stick the kids made with Pete the other day in anticipation of our epic storm. This was sitting on about 4" of snow. Even after about 6 hours of snow, it was getting pretty covered. The stick is 20" tall.

This morning, all that was showing was 3". So, looks like we got about 18"!

The chairs were getting buried last night, which I thought was awesome!

You can see that we won't be using those anytime soon. ;-) Funny though, right beside the chairs is a complete bare spot by the grill. Love how the winds affect the piling of the snow.

Here you can see some of the bare spots. It drifted pretty well by our front door. So, really, though it's not the "storm to end all storm", it was a pretty fun one to watch. And, we're all enjoying a great day at home together today. Getting ready in about a half hour to get outside and enjoy it too, so I'll be sure and take some pictures of that as well. So, thanks "Blizzaster '11" for giving us a great day to play!