The War Escalates

After a few quiet months on the war front, THIS is what I receive on my email this morning. It's obvious that broccoli is upping the stakes. They are no longer satisfied with randomly attacking the innocent. The new ad campaign is obviously a way to spread their range and to infiltrate even the most ardent opponents. If I, the director of our midwest facilities, can receive one, then they have no shame and no fear in who they shower with their paraphernalia. Notice also that they now have corporate sponsors to support their bogus claims. Broccoli "Miracle", indeed. Please, it's so apparent that these are lies. They are pushing this war towards a direction that we had not totally anticipated. Rumors had been spreading these past few months that they were building up to something. It was too quiet, too easy. We knew they were gathering their forces for a strategic attack, but we weren't sure what course of action they were going to take. Field officers had spoken of them gathering sponsors and getting their numbers up to overthrow our operation, but many in our sect considered it too risky a move for them. I think this new campaign just shows that our fight is a sound one, for they are running scared and making those risky moves. To make false claims, to me, just shows that broccoli is grasping at straws. Though it frightens me to think this is being sent to innocent children and the easily swayed, this is nothing new. The seem to place themselves in areas that children frequent in order to convince them that broccoli isn't the putrid vice of the wicked. Thankfully our numbers are growing and showing the youngest of our society that these are all lies, perpetrated by the master deceptor, brachium - also known as broccoli. So, if you have wondered why I haven't posted in a while about our enemy, it's only because we were waiting and watching for their latest attack. It's more gruesome than we thought, but not surprising considering they come from the 7th level of hell. Wanted to raise awareness of this new strategy of theirs. So, that you will be looking for these ads and delete them as soon as possible. Spread the word to friends and neighbors alike. We want to see this stopped before it becomes too widespread and yet another broccoli consumption outbreak takes place. You may have read throughout history about "consumption". Many historians refer to people dying of this disease as being related and otherwise known as tuberculosis. This is yet another way broccoli has tried to rewrite history. Death by consumption has nothing to do with that disease. But, has everything to do with the ingestion of broccoli. This has been widely controlled since knowledge of "consumption" was recognized as coming, not from the illness of tuberculosis, but from eating of broccoli, but the more ads that come out like the one above, the more people will be deceived and another epidemic, one of a global scale, could take place. The war may have been quiet, but it never ended and continues to be even more fierce in the face of new battles. We must join rank and fight harder, for they are coming at us full-force. We will prevail!