Broccoli. The name alone stands for all that is wrong. I have tried my hardest, with Pete by my side, to discourage my children from eating something so obviously hazardous to their health. I was brought up knowing that along with crack cocaine, broccoli would not be tolerated. My mom was the one person who encouraged this terrible behavior, but I resisted and kept strong. Never trying the stuff, through my dad's constant vigil. Now, I did dabble in a little cauliflower, but soon learned the error of my ways. So, when it came time to teach my children the good and bad things in this world, I made sure those lessons included the fact that broccoli was gross and not something we would allow in our home. Well, a year or so ago, we were at a fellowship dinner at my parents church and what did I find? Madie eating broccoli - with my MOM cheering her on!!! What was this turn of events, I asked?! I tried scolding her (by making puking noises), it did nothing to dissuade her from finishing the entire piece AND .... getting another. Well, nothing came of that. Months passed, so I thought all was well. That is, until we were at another dinner and once again Madie got a piece, as did Noah. Both of them confessing their newfound love of broccoli. Tears were shed, questions of why were asked, and ultimately I decided to love them despite this choice in which they made. They are, after all, still my children. My one consulation was somehow I would not fail my youngest. One of my children would withstand the peer pressure and make it through this life unscathed by broccoli consumption. Well, today my friends, my dreams and hopes were shattered as I came home from tanning to discover my husband and youngest daughter with a plate of broccoli, eating away at it. I stood there with my mouth agap and my heart dropping to the floor. My defeat was evident. Broccoli had at last won. I fought the good fight. I tried to shield them from it, but alas I was not strong enough. The broccoli has beaten me.....
7 comments:
Your dad always did have wierd tastes. Brocolli is exceptional. And it's an anti-carcinogen (that means it fights cancer). I suppose you don't like onions or tomatoes either.
Good for Pete and Livvie. They'll live long.
Brocolli is yummy. I mean, have you ever tried it? Raw isn't good, though. It needs to be just cooked for a little while. And then covered with a sauce of mayo and mustard mixed together, or lathered with cheese.
I actually like onions and LOVE tomatoes, but broccoli... um, no. You could coat them with 12 layers of chocolate and I still wouldn't try it. My father taught me well. ;-)
Um, I don't know if I will be able to look at my nieces and nephew the same ever again. I believe I warned you that bringing broccoli into the home was a dangerous thing and you shouldn't have done it.
I also have to add that unfortunately my husband-to-be is so happy that your children have rebelled against you and informed me that he assisted in the rebellion by feeding Madie that broccoli at the fellowship dinner. I may have to rethink this union ;)
It's good that you know this about him now. I was shocked that after nearly 10 yrs of marriage, I didn't know my husband at all. I'm still grieving.
And, tell Jeff that I'm considering bringing charges to all those co-conspiritors that were responsible for the destruction of my family. Broccoli is ultimately the one I'm going after, but mom, Jeff, and anyone else who played a part will be punished to the full extent of the law. I do believe it will be a ground-breaking case.
Ok, this just cracks me up! Our family is divided by gender on the broccoli question. Phil and the boys hate the stuff, while Rose and I (and sometimes Rachel) very rightfully like broccoli. Steamed with salt and a bit of lemon juice, with lots of cheese, with a mayo/mustard sauce; there are lots of yummy ways to eat it. You are seriously missing out!!
Did I understand this correctly? Someone pinch me! Did you just say Pete ate bbbbbbrocolli? I must be on crack...
OK - to Amy, my lawyer has advised me not to talk to anyone pro-broccoli. It might jeopardize my case. But, I will say that I completely side with Phil on this one. Broccoli is gross and lemon juice, mayo stuff, cheese, etc.. will not cover up the nastiness of it. It's like saying if I add cheese sauce to shrubbery, it'll taste better. Yeah, but it's still gross!!
And, to Jill, no, Pete's the one on crack. He ate broccoli!!!
Post a Comment