Remember a couple months ago I posted about the sickness that was affecting all the members of my household? The sickness of broccoli consumption. Well, my friends, it has gotten worse. Tonight Olivia and I were looking at a book she has about words. We've been using this book as a way to help her learn her words and colors and all that. She's actually gotten so good that she's able to say all the words in the book. Very exciting! I love looking at this book with her, because it's so fun to hear her say all the words that just 3 months ago she couldn't. Tonight, my love for the book and all the memories surrounding it have been tarnished. When we got the page on "Food", she saw the picture of the broccoli and said (I quote), "Mmmm! Yum! Yum! Yum!", then she proceeded to try and EAT the picture of the broccoli. So, now folks, their addiction has crossed the bounds of reality. They are even trying to ingest 2D pictures! How could it have come to this?!! I am fairly upset at the book company, trying to push this devilish weed on to our children. You would think a reputable place called "Priddy Books", with it's sweet sounding name would know better. Heck, they even decorate the outside of the book with cute little teddy bears and yummy looking apples. It isn't until you reach page 6 that you discover it's hidden agenda! Now, I've known since we got this book that it contained that picture. I overlooked it in my naivete, thinking that she wouldn't notice or care. But, tonight I discovered the error of my ways. Have I now contributed to the downfall of my youngest? Have I, in my sheer desire to see my daughter speak, somehow lead her to believe broccoli is (dare I say it) good?! I will not stand for it! I will not allow the books of this world or the sad, misled broccoli-lovers to continue to permiate our lives with this foul vegetable. NO! I call upon all the moms of America who see that our children are being taken in by this garden-dwelling thistle to put those books down, hug their children close and whisper in their ears, "Don't eat broccoli or Santa will skip our house this year."
5 comments:
Okay, Alan had to come in and scrape me off the floor. That was hillarious. And as to scraping me off the floor, that was funny, too, because, as you know, I can't get up off the floor once I'm on it!
You really need to TRY this succulent vegetable. Have you ever TRIED it? Be truthful, now. Have you ever taken a nice, big, juicy mouthful of this delectable green stem? One that is not overcooked to less than emerald green? A mouthful of this wonderful, anticarcinogen that wasn't prepared at Golden Corral, where it definitely does NOT taste good?
Try it, you might like it!
I'm still laughing!
AMEN!!!! And for the hopeful future mothers of America as well...I hold to your cause and support it as if it were my own child who was lost to this disease!
This is just too funny!! You definitely have a way with words. I, however, have to applaud your daughter for her excellent taste in food. I LOVE broccoli; alone, in a casserole, on a baked potato with cheese, it doesn't matter. Put cheese on top and my girls will eat it too. You should seriously try it sometime!!!
Delectable, Judi? Really? Delectable? I think you misspelled that and were trying to go for the word "Detestable". Close though.
Oh, and to answer your question, no, I have never taken a bite of it, nor will I. I know better than to allow my body to be infiltrated by something so toxic. Plus, I want Santa to come this year, so I won't do anything to ruin those chances. Mama wants a new pair of shoes! ...Or, a $50 gift card to Target, so I can pick out the shoes myself. Ya know, whatever. I'm not saying I don't trust Santa's judgement. I'm just saying that he's probably not bought Mrs. Claus anything but snow boots for the past 300 yrs. He might not know what the trends are right now. Sorry, got off on a tangent, anyway, um, where was I? Oh, yeah....broccoli sucks.
It's been three days since you've BLOGged. Are you sick? Did you eat some of that broccoli just to prove that it was harmful to one's health? Are you and yours okay? Miss ya.
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